I’ve been thinking about Doris Day since I heard about her passing this week at the age of 97. I’m envious of her longevity and daring to hope for close to the same for myself. I heard her famous rendition of “Que Sera, Sera” on CBC the other day and I’ve been singing the phrase “whatever will be, will be” ever since.
It’s a good mantra for me currently, as I await pathology results from the recent surgery to remove a malignant tumour and some lymph nodes.
I’ve been walking gingerly along the trails with my black lab mix, Cleo. Each day I get a little faster and a little stronger. Cleo circles me constantly, in and out of the woods. Sometimes it’s sprinkling rain, or windy, and I’ve seen some warmth and sunshine, too. I’ve been putting my hood up and taking it down depending on the mood of the sky at each moment and belting it out:
Whatever will be, will be. The future is ours to see. Que sera, sera.
I love this song. It comes full circle in three verses. First, she is a little girl. Then, she has a sweetheart. Finally, she has children of her own. And what is the advice Doris Day doles out so melodically? Just be patient, life will happen, it will be okay.
Waiting is something I’ve been doing in spurts since February. Clocks are slower when you are waiting for the results of scans or procedures. Snow melts at a trickle. A long winter can become interminable.
But when you remind yourself that you have no control and that “whatever will be, will be,” the weight lifts a little. The present moment becomes important. You play a board game with your kids. You sit longer chatting with your husband over the dirty dishes at the supper table. You read a good book. You have lunch with your parents. You have coffee dates with your friends. You finally call your aunt for a chat. You write a blog.
I have a hard time picturing ladies from the Doris Day generation racing down the street in a minivan with a bunch of kids who are late for soccer practice and are being pressured to be on the honour roll and who forgot, yet again, to practice their piano lessons. In her day, kids went to school and played outdoors. When they wanted to play baseball, they all played together down the street. It was a different time with many challenges, and I don’t want to glamorize it. But we can learn from the simplicity of her song’s message.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t all be productive and busy at times. There are times in life when we must spring into action, as Day herself exemplified through her animal rights advocacy work. But I’ve certainly come to see that having patience means that one must try to experience life in the moment.
Worrying is a waste of time and energy. Worry stresses our body and makes us anxious. When I start to worry, I think “Forget it, now! Whatever will be, will be.” And then I do something else.
It really works.
Thank-you, Doris. Rest in peace, beautiful soul.